I just watched a documentary titled 'THIN.' Its really got me thinking. So many young girls, and older ones, are so focused on body image, weight, imperfections, dieting. Why? Who told them they were fat? Who told them they weren't beautiful?
I remember being a pre-teen and noticing how thin some girls were in my 5th grade class. Thinking about what I was, or wasn't probably started around this time in my life. I had a locker next to a couple of the most beautiful, thin girls in high school. My thoughts weren't consumed with needing to be just like them but I knew I wasn't. Of course looking back at it I think how could I have ever thought that weighing 135 in high school wasn't good enough when I've recently been over 100 lbs. more than that and still pretty close. I do realize it is a mind trick, at least for the 'normal' unhealthy view, if there is such a thing.
We have all grown up around TV, Movies and Magazines that always display the most beautiful people, a majority of whom have seemingly perfect bodies. Thin, tan, great hair...perfect. Most of that is "movie magic" of course. Photoshop has become the fix-it-all solution for making the 'perfect' even more perfect. Young girls are taught so early that to be loved and acceptable is to be thin and gorgeous.
I really don't believe that TV, Movies and Magazines are the root of the problem though. Its really only what feeds it. Watching the THIN documentary got me thinking about how much more the problem is about emotional baggage brought on by the dysfunctions in life and not so much about just wanting to be thin. Wanting to be thin is the outcome, the attention getter, the hiding place, the punishment. A way to avoid the hurts and problems or to have something to control when everything is so out of control. There are many other outlets for this; cutting, drinking and drugs and in extreme cases, suicide. They are unable to deal with the hurts of this life and the pain is so real that they feel they have no other option than to make that emotional pain go away by covering it up with physical pain.
The woman followed in this documentary all had one form of eating disorder or another. They lived lives of depression and self hatred. One young girl was only 15 years old. She felt she was too heavy and wanted to be like the 'other girl's who were thin at her school. Unfortunately, her mother also suffered from an eating disorder and although her mother wanted her to get better, she really didn't back up her support with action. She didn't want help. After being it treatment for a time, she wanted to go home, she missed her old life of bondage to the scale. Another had a twin sister who she thought was better than her, smarter that her. Where did she get that idea from? Perhaps she always felt the need to compete and could never measure up. She said that she was mean to her sister. She thought it was because she hated herself so much, and since her sister looks like her, she somehow felt she was taking it out on herself by taking it out on her twin. One woman seemed to be the rebel, dramatic and wanting attention. Again, why? It most likely stems from what her life must have been like growing up. She said she learned about eating disorders and how to have one from her family. I didn't get them sense that this was some, 'lets gather around the table kids and lets all learn how to be anorexic', but rather a learned behavior from watching her mother 'diet'. She said she once was paid $100 by each her mom and her aunt to lose 10 pounds when she was only 10 years old.
There was a time in my life where I was depressed. I wanted to feel good about myself and so I thought if I lost weight and 'looked good' that I would be happier. I got thin, not unreasonably thin, but where I wanted to be, but the 'happiness' was temporary. Proof that our happiness can not be dependent on outside influences. I also remember thinking I was fat because I wasn't the weight I wanted to be and referring to myself as fat. Fortunately I realized that I needed to stop because I didn't want my sons to get the wrong idea about what 'fat' was. If we think monetary or material things will make us happy, we will never really truly be happy. If we think having the perfect body will make us happy, we are sadly mistaken.
Even the most seemingly perfect person probably can find faults with themselves. How many times have we wanted to change something about ourselves? If we have curly hair, we wish it was straight. If we have straight hair, we wish it was curly. Freckles, no freckles. Dimples, no dimples. Blonde hair, brown hair, red hair, black hair. Why can't we be satisfied with what God gave us? Is it because we think, "If only I had ____ , then I will be happy/satisfied/loved/desirable, etc."? I truly believe that, until we can step back from looking inward and focus on the Heavenly; God's perfect will for our lives and trust in Him, we can not move past the hurts that this world dishes out.
It seemed the overall theme for these woman on THIN was hurt or rejection and unhealthy attitudes that they learned from their family, the ones who were supposed to love and guide and protect them. Please ask yourself; What am I doing that is destructive to myself or to those around me? What words come out of my mouth that are hurtful and damaging to my kids emotions and spirits? What attitudes and habits do I portray to my kids that will ultimately shape their attitudes and habits? We are the number one influence in our kids lives. We must be careful as to how we influence our kids.
I have a daughter now and step daughters. I want to make sure they have healthy ideas about who they are and what is beautiful. I want them to know that they are perfect just the way they are because God created them to be EXACTLY who they are and to look EXACTLY they way He wanted them to be. I want all my kids to understand the importance of healthy relationships with people. I want them to learn to be kind and thoughtful and giving. I want them to learn the importance of preferring one another and being happy for others when they succeed. I want them to have integrity, to be honest and most importantly to love God and desire to know Him. I want to know that I did all that I could to make the most positive impact in the lives of my children so that they might one day do the same for theirs.
I am in the process right now of losing weight. I have been over 200 lbs. for the last few years. I have also been the happiest I have ever been. My desire to lose weight is not one that is based on a need to be thin, to look good or to fit some standard that the world has set. It is to be healthier, to have more energy and too keep up with my daughter who is just about to start crawling and is already showing signs of a strong will. I really don't want to even think about how I look or what I weigh. I just want to have a healthy attitude about it and not focus on it so much that it effects those around me, especially my family. I want to set the example that we should be more concerned about treating ourselves with respect and care with a healthy lifestyle because we are worthy of such. A lifestyle of health in how we talk, how we behave, and how we think.
